


You Were A Kindness

by Gryph



Category: Saving Grace (TV)
Genre: Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Post-Canon, Yuletide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 07:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13118751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gryph/pseuds/Gryph
Summary: What happened to Grace Hanadarko after the end of the series? Did she finally find peace? Did she redeem herself enough to get into Heaven? Did Earl take her there?





	You Were A Kindness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fleurlb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleurlb/gifts).



Grace Hanadarko felt a bright light and warmth on her face; the glow turned her vision red through her eyelids. She turned her face toward the source as a smile twitched on her lips. Her body felt weightless, and for the first time in months—year, decades—the pain that weighed down her heart was gone.

“Grace.” The voice was deep and smooth, resonating through her chest like her own heartbeat. It held kindness, wisdom, even love, and more than a hint of melancholy.

She opened her eyes, expecting to be blinded by the brilliance. Her surroundings faded into focus, and her smile faded into open mouthed wonder. The being before her wore a long white robe of simple homespun fabric, belted with a length of rope. The curls of His brown hair fell across His shoulders and caught in His beard. The blueness of His eyes reminded her of the stormy sea, set back deep in a stark contrast to His light brown skin. He was the only thing around; the rest of the landscape was a softly glowing light as far as she could see.

Her sarcastic sense of humor broke the momentary spell. “So the paintings in the church were right? You’ve got everything but the lamb in your arms.” Her hand flew to her mouth as soon as the words were out. Considering that she was probably in the presence of the Almighty, she needed to pick her words more carefully. “I’m sorry,” she blurted in a rush, “that was awfully disrespectful.”

The Figure chuckled, another sound that washed over her and flowed through her, leaving nothing but stillness and peace in its wake. “This visage is most familiar to those in your faith tradition,” He said. “I thought it would make you more comfortable.” He shrugged, and in the blink of an eye, His form shifted. A wizened woman in a nun’s habit, stooped with age, stood in His place. Her face looked like She had been sucking on a lemon. “Is this better?” Blink. Now He looked like some rookie cop she had once had the hots for early in her career. That boy had had a _fine_ ass in his tight Levis. “Or this?”

Grace’s eyes grew wide as her glance unconsciously flicked down to the crotch of the tight denim jeans. “Oh God, no, no, no.” She cursed her stupid mouth again. “I mean, no, Lord, I mean, whatever You choose is fine.” She sighed. “I give up, just put me on the express elevator going down.”

When she looked again, the church Jesus image was back. “Why do you think you’re here? Just to be judged and sent to Hell?” He smirked.

 _God smirks?!_ Grace thought. _God smirks._ “Well, I guess it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if I was. I ain’t exactly led a pristine life. I’ve pretty much hit all the major sins—sex, drugs, adultery, cussing, blasphemy,… murder.” Her heart lurched with a twinge of pain as she pictured a little girl covered in blood. _Esperanza_. Her eyes began to fill.

“You are a perfectly imperfect creation, Grace. Exactly how I made you. Everything you’ve been through, everything you’ve endured, have led you to the only place you could be, to be the only person you could have become.” His eyes captured hers and held them. “Sending you to Hell isn’t My plan for you. I have more important work for you.”

Grace’s face turned dark, her brows furrowed together. The entire landscape dimmed, and a distant rumble cut the still air. “Everything I’ve endured? Everything I’ve been through?” her voice crackled with anger. “You mean everything _You_ let happen to me!” Her fingers curled into fists at her side, and another crack of thunder sounded, much louder. “Like Father Murphy? Mary Francis? Leon Cooley? Neely? Esp—,” her voice broke, and a tear fell down one cheek. “Esperanza?” She’d once told Earl that the only thing God had her name on was His Shitlist.

The Figure stepped closer and raised His hand to gently wipe the wetness from her face, then moved to cup her hair. “Child, do you really believe I wanted those things to happen to you?”

Grace’s face froze, her lips locked pressed into a tight line. She felt the same rush of power and pleasure as when Earl unfurled his wings in her presence. The power of faith, he’d called it. “I don’t know,” her voice dropped to a husky whisper. “Earl says that’s not Your style. The church says it’s all part of Your plan, a test of faith.” She chuffed, but didn’t move away from His touch and leaned subtly into it instead. The feeling of acceptance made her feel bold. “Well, I’ve flunked every test You put in front of me. My faith went the way of the Dodo a long time ago.”

“And yet you went toe-to-toe with the Adversary. You saw his Evil, and sacrificed yourself to rid the world of it. If that doesn’t require Faith, I don’t know what does.”

She squinted and peered up into His face. “Did it work?” When the Figure tilted His head in question, she repeated, “Did it work? Did that sonnofabitch actually die?”

“Does it matter?”

“Well, I hope I didn’t die for ‘nuthin.”

“No sacrifice, purely given, is ever in vain, Grace.” He dropped His hand from her head. “What is it you want to know? What are the answers you are looking for?”

She tilted her chin back as if testing the air, which had grown still and silent again. The light around them had returned to its previous levels, and now it shifted, as if something moved in it just out of view, or behind a curtain. She drew in a deep breath and blew it back out. “Why? That’s all I want to know. Why?”

“Why what?” the Figure asked, as His smirk returned.

“All of it.” She waved her hands around. “Why—,” she paused, about to ask the same question she’d asked Earl on their first meeting. _Why me?_ But she didn’t need the answer to that anymore. It didn’t matter. “Why do people have to suffer?”

The Figure closed His eyes, and a small pained expression briefly crossed His face. “Because their Nature is to suffer. So they can also know Joy.”

Grace nodded. “Can I… can I see my sister?” she blurted. Seeing Mary Francis again, seeing her happy and at piece, would bring her joy. It would make so much of the suffering she’d endured worthwhile. She held her breath. It was an outrageous request.

The silence between them grew as the minutes dragged by. Grace was about to open her mouth to take it back when the Figure spoke. “That’s not how this works,” He replied with a shrug.

“Will my family be all right?” Leo, Johnny, Jimmy, Paige, Joe, Doug, Clay. Rhetta. Ham. Butch. Bobby. Gus. Family didn’t end with blood.

“They will be. They gained a great strength from knowing you, Grace Hanadarko. That strength and their Faith will sustain them.”

She nodded again, satisfied for now. She waited for Him to say more, to reveal some great mystery of the universe, but He just stood there with a gentle expression, letting the silence grow. Her body began to fidget, so she folded her arms across her chest in a hug. “So, what now? I go sit on a cloud with a harp, or wrap myself in a toga and sit in adoration somewhere?”

Now the smirk grew into a smile, and the effect dazzled her for a moment. “No, I have a different plan for you.” He moved toward her again, and set His hands on her shoulders. Grace’s breath caught as she felt a jolt of electricity move through her. “You’re a fighter, Grace. You would be restless without someone or something to fight for. And you are good at it. You took out my Adversary with a move he never saw coming. That’s no small feat. I need souls like you to keep fighting.”

Grace tried to speak, to ask what she was fighting if she’d already beat the Devil, but she couldn’t find her voice.

“You are a protector. You know what you need to do, to continue to guide and protect the vulnerable souls still walking in the world.”

Her back tingled, like the residual pain after Charlie had tattooed those angel wings across her shoulder blades.

“I want you to be one of my angels, Grace.”

She threw her head back and howled as a searing agony burned across her back. The Figure tightened His grip on her shoulders, both holding her in place and keeping her from collapse. A pair of luminous wings unfurled behind her.

When she the pain faded, Grace opened her eyes again. The Figure was gone, but in His place stood Earl, sporting a big toothy grin, his eyes shining with a mixture of pride and tears. She looked around to see more beings of every race and color, wearing clothing from all over the world and from all throughout history. Behind each of them, a beautiful pair of wings glowed.

“Welcome to the family, Grace,” Earl said in a choked voice. “You’re gonna do great.”


End file.
